Men often tend to get overzealous when they’re dating a girl that they’re trying to impress. Not that it doesn’t happen to women, but it’s just basic male instinct to go above and beyond to snatch a woman’s heart. But when you’re dating someone foreign, like an Asian woman, you can’t just go all out guns blazing without doing the least bit of research.
Valentine’s Day, however, is the one day where your overexcitement can get you into trouble. For starters, you have to get your date a gift. But what exactly can you get her that will send her the right message instead of right out the front door? You may choose to write her a letter, but what exactly should you say?
The most difficult thing about Valentine’s Day is managing expectations. A lot of men simply want to end their singlehood on that day. High schoolers might be hoping to get their first kiss. Other men might just want to get lucky. And a few other men may be hoping she says “yes.”
And if you are dating a woman who grew up in Asia, you might not even know what to expect. So the best bit of advice to begin with is to make a good, balanced impression and move on from there. And to help you get that good impression, here is advice on what you may want to do and avoid doing on your impending February 14 date:
The nice thing about flowers is that it doesn’t matter the time or the occasion, they are sure to put a smile on a woman’s face. With rare exceptions, you can go with most flower types, especially roses. It doesn’t matter which country she comes from, giving her a beautiful flower bouquet is a sure way to tickle her fancy.
Asian women are generally very feminine. They don’t mind getting cutesy. So don’t worry too much about being a buff manly man shopping in the pink stuffed toy aisle. When you hand her out that heart-embellished balloon or furry fuschia teddy bear, her smile and giggle will make all your efforts worth it.
Just in case you thought you couldn’t be safe enough, you just might be better off being a bit prudent with your gift choices. Many Asian cultures are rooted in deep beliefs and even superstition. For example, mundane objects like shoes and umbrellas may be totally harmless to you and everyone you know, but to a Chinese woman, they may spell bad omens for your relationship.
So a 5 minute Google search can prevent unintended disasters.
Aside from the fact that the Asian girl aesthetic is of a generally smaller stature, there is no point in incapacitating yourself from overeating, especially on Valentine’s Day. So avoid the all-you-can-eat buffets, or the extra-adventurous exotic dishes. You want all your senses intact all the way.
While some women are more robust with their movie choices, there’s a reason why romance flicks are normally shown in cinemas in February. But because Netflix actually allows you to choose your movies, then you best practice some good judgment. Women tend to get more emotional with movies than men, so don’t upset her mood by watching gore flicks on romance day.
Or if this is your first date together, better stay off the jewelry for the time being. Jewelry can represent many things to many people. It can symbolize wealth and status. But if you have no idea what jewelry she is after, then you can end up sending the wrong message.
Here’s an example: women know diamonds like mechanics know cars. Normally, men wouldn’t know the difference between a diamond and a chip of glass. Women? They understand things like color, flawlessness, size, and every little other metric by which diamonds are judged.
Here is the worst part for the unsuspecting overly zealous man: they aren’t just nice things. They represent longevity and a promise. So unless you are planning to propose to her or give her a symbol of your unending love, then stick with the fluffy toys.
While it is tradition to write a letter on Valentine’s Day, resist trying to be the second coming of William Shakespeare. Normally, Asian women prefer brevity and honesty, so you don’t need to make an overly long letter anyway. But you also don’t want to appear as a try-hard, especially on the first date.
There is no reason to write an ode to the 15 fleeting emotions you felt the moment you laid eyes on her. Instead, be brief, make a couple of honest compliments, and ask her to be your Valentine. And to be honest, unless she speaks perfectly good English, she may end up even more confused than before.
This is the big kicker. Most Asian societies are conservative by nature. This means that your date actually cares about how people around her think. And with rare exceptions, public displays of affection are frowned upon.
Even if you are alone together, be equally conservative and respectful with how you treat her. If your subtle attempts at holding her hand are not received, then don’t force the issue. It doesn’t necessarily mean she doesn’t like you, it’s just that it’s not how she rolls. Eventually, you will discover the tells by which she likes you.
Many western men love to date foreign women from Asia for their feminine good looks and admirable values. The trouble they face is when cultures clash and they don’t have a clue how to bridge the gap.
Valentine’s Day is a great way, and excuse, to date and learn about these beautiful women from the East. If there is one thing that we all have in common, it’s that no one likes to be single on Valentine’s. So take a chance and ask a beautiful woman to be your Valentine.
