Ever heard of eldest daughter syndrome?
Its sudden emergence in popular culture sheds light on the experiences of eldest daughters, involving their burden of labor compared to their siblings. And, NO, this isn't any sort of official mental health diagnosis, despite its popularity.
For Filipinos, the eldest child typically becomes something of a second parent since they are often called on to help provide for the family once they finish their studies. For some, they are even tasked to help while they're still pursuing their education, as claimed by Jumalon, et al. (2023). There is the expectation that they put the interest of others ahead of their own or else they are called children with little respect or care for obligations.
As you take your leisure in city attractions or on beaches like Moalboal, you may stumble upon an attractive eldest daughter out and about. If so, let me run you through some things you need to know to warm you up for a Filipino eldest daughter's heart.
The eldest Filipino daughter faces a lot of pressure in her environment daily, be it inside or outside her household. Though this also motivates her to do better in reaching people's expectations, you have to be able to take the lead and deal with finances, career, and intimacy, which are crucial for any happy and long-lasting relationship.
Eldest daughters are bombarded enough about their futures; make her feel safe enough to move forward with you by taking charge.
Just because you take the lead, that doesn't imply you should take full control. The eldest Filipino daughter is dedicated to every responsibility given to her. Their commitment helps them carry on despite difficulties. Just set your sights on her and do your best to win her love through acts like applying the traditional Filipino courtship where you respect her reservedness, which often shows up as “playing hard to get.”
As they tend to their priorities first, there can be less time for socializing. This is a challenge as it affects their decisions and disregards relationships, which then leads to misunderstandings. If you are confused about the situation, it is okay to call for transparency. Having open and polite communication shows your sincerity. It will also help you navigate the differences between you and her culture.
In the long run, respecting her is vital. With her significant role in the family and her personal preferences; you should gracefully accept her rejection and withdraw. But if you get the lucky clover and get her sweet “yes”, respect her boundaries and be observant of her actions whether they hint at distress or comfort. Acknowledging them and being a strong support system helps them roll with the punches.
Getting a Filipino eldest daughter's heart can be rocky. But it's the kind of prize you will surely cherish. Eldest daughters are natural leaders, mature, and have a strong sense of empathy. Looking for a woman with built-in wife traits where multitasking is light work? The eldest daughter with the grit and resilience of a Filipino is the cream of the crop.
